One post a month is as much as I can manage...

Really, I am trying...
Anyway, back to work after an Easter break, the first in 4 years of TEFL work...wow. Much needed and certainly deserved after the marathons of March with exams, covers, children left right and centre (although the new class, a group of 10-year olds, is gorgeous and so sweet, I would just cuddle them all. They should never grow from that age).
Well I am back and trying, and failing as always, to prepare alternative, more useful stuff for my classes, stuff that they can actually use every day. Language of the street, so to speak, the way I have learnt most of my English too. Like today, my elementary class, revising furniture and stuff...we did a short activity on renting a flat, and at least there was some real language, but I always feel it's not enough. And with my wonderful Friday night class, they are so amazing, I wish I could do more, like showing clips and discussing features of language, but we only have 2 hours a week and a tight schedule based on the coursebook...plus I have mid-course tests too, which I'm not too happy about, except in the case of my Tuesday night class, which I positively hate...
Well other than that, I have 4 hours of workshop tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to add a post quite soon, subject: advanced conversation classes. Not that my contribution tomorrow will be that great, my adcon guys are sad puppets who want me to speak and have nothing to say, if we ignore the one guy who hates his job, hates Trento, hates his life, and despises the fact that he has to arrange his holidays around his son's (or sons?) school timetable...ehm...you should have thought about it before deciding to have a family, man! God, people who are lucky never realise it...
Enough, I'll try to post by next week: I can do this!

I'm back: new year, new...everything!

Where had I left off? Oh, ages ago. With a job that was consuming my patience and driving me hysterical with the amount of stuff to do, and a terrible situation house-wise, forced to live in a shared place…but let’s not dwell on the past…
The situation needs to be updated to 2012, right now, February, with me typing away sitting on the sofa of a lovely, tiny, tidy flat just outside Trento, in northern Italy, where I have just moved as, finally, I have found a serious job in the Italian TEFL world. First of all, I left the terrible pretense of a job that I had in Bergamo up to a month ago, the one where I did the interview in September, they offered the position, then made me wait a month before calling to say that they were organizing the induction, then arranging the induction as starting on the day of my birthday, thank you very much, thus making me waste a whole day listening to endless chatter that a CELTA student would find boring, imagine someone with a bit of experience. There was then another whole-day meeting, which included a fake observation, thus arranged:
Here is what we would like you to do, pages 11 and 12 from this book you’ve never used before, to teach to a student you’ve never met before, who is the principal’s husband and other owner of the school, so, no pressure there, and you’re going to teach him for 15 minute tops. Oh, by the way, he’s a pre-intermediate, but not really, but you’ll find out tomorrow during the “lesson”, when he’ll be so slow that he won’t understand basic questions like “what time is it?”.
The comments they made afterwards regarded, mostly, the fact that I was sitting with my legs crossed, hence showing a non-aperture, or whatever… the notion that I was wearing a mini-skirt then, and was just trying to be a lady, rather than a truck driver, seemed to escape them…
Following this joke of observation, there was another induction day, where the principal had us listen to the story of her life and of the school, and then another 2 weeks before she actually gave me some work to do…and by some work I mean 6 hours, spread between 3 days, at a company 65 km away from my hometown, which required me to drive all the way there and back three times a week, to teach people who didn’t want to be taught, and who, from one week to the other, wouldn’t remember what we had done…oh joy. We did one week and then Christmas came, which was a nice time of gym, and chores, and friends, and all that, and when January started I was so frustrated at the thought of more wasted days driving all the way to that company… I managed to get an interview for this prestigious school in Trento, which I did entirely on the phone while driving to work, and the week after I anticipated my unhappiness at the current work situation to the people in Bergamo, who replied something like “what the hell do you want from us, you were fine when we spoke the first time 4 months ago, before petrol prices went sky-high, a thing that we haven’t actually noticed and even if we had, well your problem not ours. We might and might not have more hours for you, but hey, you’ll have to be patient, and like a brand new graduate with no experience, work these ridiculous 6 hours a week and depend on your parents till kingdom comes”. I might have paraphrased here.
I went to Trento at the end of that same week, spent almost 2 hours being seriously interviewed, and by the end of the day I had the job. Needless to say I immediately emailed the people in Bergamo to tell them to bugger off, and I started working out stuff in Trento. I started at the end of January, on a full time, lots of money, lots of perks basis, and I even had the accommodation paid for the first two weeks, while I was waiting for my lovely flat to be free. And here I am now.
My timetable is over-satisfactory, if such a word exists, and I have a wide range of classes, abilities, ages, and levels. I teach children twice a week, a challenge I am glad to face, and they are sweet and lovely, I have my teens for FCE and CAE (the CAE guys are a wonder, so great! The FCE are new so I can’t say much yet), I am going to have more adults for evening classes, including one with the manager of the school, who scares me to bits but is a really nice lady, and last week I’ve had more challenges as I’ve had to cover for a colleague, who is sick this week as well, so I’m assuming that I’ll cover all her classes again. This means using a couple of books I’ve never used before, as they are 14 year-old kids, and teaching KET as well, where I don’t have a lot of experience but am glad I can finally get some.
The school provides lots of training and workshops, and soon I’ll be working as a supervisor for Cambridge exams, and that’s one of the reasons they’re keen to have me, since I have a useful driving licence that can take me places… plus in November they’re planning to make me do the examiner course, which I am really really eager to take, so even though, regrettably, the contract is until th end of June, to be renewed in either July or September, depending if I want to stick around for summer camps or not, so even though the contract is a bit funny, not only does it include perks of regular contracts such as “tredicesima” and TFR, a thing unheard of in the TEFL world, like sickness and maternity leave, but both the academic manager and DOS, and the “real” manager are very keen to keep me on, so yay!
It means the opportunity to grow, professionally, and be independent doing what I like best, and being in my home country, independent enough to have this little flat that, for the first time in my life, I don’t have to share with anyone. And this alone is worth everything.
Well, this was a bit of summary of the way things have evolved recently. I am waiting to receive my DELTA results, which should arrive this week I imagine, being mid-february already, and have a few things to do in town, such as joining a gym, setting up an internet connection, and so on. Step by step. It’s all so cool. So cool.
And now, time for tea.

3 days to go

Really, I can't wait.
It's been the longest summer, and one that I have actually enjoyed, despite the high amount of stress, the unbelievable number of people around, the massive workload we have all been subjected to for the past 3 months. Unfairfly, the AY teachers are now back to full time teaching, which IS unfair, as they are basically just squeezing the life out of us just because the contract allows them to.

So, Wednesday is my last day. I have decided that in order to finish the Delta I need to take time off, as I couldn't manage this pace at work AND combine it with the tight deadlines of the distance Delta...but I do need a full time job to pay the rent and all, although the pay is ridiculous. Anyway, considering that I have also fallen into the trap of a nervous breakdown, understandably I might say, I DO need time off to recover, study, and not be so lonely and stressed during the long dark winter months.

On the upside, apart from going back home and having time to study and complete the dip properly, there is also the fact that for once I'll be able to actually revise and get back in touch with all my TEFL books and photocopies that I have quickly skimmed while I was studying for the dip, but which I've never had a chance to really digest. This also means that finally I'll be able to keep a proper teaching blog, the way I haven't managed for this whole year, regrettably.

So, I'll be back soon, with all things TEFL.

End of module three - reload; and how cold it is!

So, having spent a week working on module three for a whole week, I submitted the new version two days ago, having got no idea if what I did was what I was meant to do... I have changed the course outline, and have included objectives, which may show that I know what I'm doing...I have therefore changed the materials, and this means that most of chapter 3, 4, 5, have changed too... Word limit checked, and since the maximum is 4500, I have stopped at 4476, which is good enough to me.
Results in February, so fingers crossed till then.

Plans for the last days in London now include:
- a lot of tv watching...too cold to get out, I did today to go to Kingston and it was worth it, but I thought my nose would fall off! And my fingers...and my toes... Lovely, though, because once home you get in the hot shower, and it's simply glorious! So more walks to come...followed by, as I said, non-stop crime series.
- a lot of reading: having finished the book I've received for my birthday, I am now reading another one, which I started this afternoon, but being halfway already, I think I'll be done either late tonight, or early tomorrow afternoon..I need more books.
- some teacher development: I can't believe I have actually the time to read all my books on methodologies and stuff, in peace, at my own pace, and not because I need to quote someone in an assignment that has to be submitted in a week or so...It's great to read things that you want to read, just because you want to.

And finally, on Monday I have the very important interview/meeting/setting things straight with my future employers, fingers crossed...
And the following Thursday mum is coming, so it'll be walking around, visiting, being a tourist all day, albeit one who knows a lot more about the area than you would think... And in less than two weeks, it's Italy and family holidays, and I just can't wait :-) So can't wait!

Over and done with? LSA4 -reload

The assessor arrives at 10 o'clock...of course, my tutor had said 10.30, which sounded strange, but nevertheless..then again, my tutors have never been quite reliable..
I am beyond agitated, and have revised, practised, rehearsed the lesson a million times, checked the assignment and cover sheet, the worksheet, the teacher's copy, the lesson plan (improved), and everything is fine, and looks good. At breaktime I check the dvd, the cd player, everything works fine, and I am feeling well.
The lesson begins, and it goes so well, so well! Responsive, cooperative students, and they do notice so many things, and practice so eagerly, and enjoy everything, and there is laughter, seriousness, a bit of this and a bit of that, I feel pretty well, and eventually the assessor leaves, big smile on his face.
I am shaking, and the feedback from the students is so good: the Korean girl is happy because she has noticed stress which she had never noticed before; the Turkish and Arabic are very happy too, for the film, the listening, all the noticing activities. Everyone else is pretty satisfied too, and the box of "Celebrations" is perfect to conclude the lesson.

I have now spent 4 hours watching tv, having enjoyed a salmon bagel, mango, and a mini chocolate mousse, because I need a reward for having survived yet another challenge. Hopefully now I have done enough... I couldn't stop smiling when I left the school, and am elated at the idea that I am done with module 2, fingers crossed of course, and from next week I'll be working on the improved version of my module 3.
So, module one - check. Module two - check. Nearly there.

Meanwhile, on Monday I have the second interview for the management job, and after that I have an interview for a teaching position which could evolve into an ADOS position...more fingers crossed, I guess... But it means going back to Bournemouth, which is exactly what I want and need. Good.

Another countdown...

Worksheet ready, including a teacher's copy, more for the assessor's sake than for myself...you never know. The cover sheet is almost ready, having completed that waste of time by the name of language analysis, and tomorrow I am going to observe the class, so I get an idea of the students' profile...although as I write I realise that half of them will be from another class, so...uff, one more problem to deal with.
In the meantime, a probable interesting interview for an ADOS position, fingers crossed. I can't believe that by the end of the month I will be done with two out of three modules of the diploma, and two weeks away from the end of module three...all complete, at last. I noticed that most of the people who took the exam with me haven't passed all, which is quite encouraging, so it wasn't just me sweating blood over books and assignment for nine months and being so disappointed at the end.
Other than that, I feel pretty positive about the interview I had on Friday, particularly since they want to see me again, which is usually a good sign. It would be interesting to get this job, a bit of management experience is always good in a cv...

Ok, enough of this chit-chat. Back to business.

And now for the cover sheet...

...am currently stressing about the cover sheet, as the title might suggest... Tomorrow I am going to arrange and observe my class, and prepare the language analysis, and all that. Again, it's really writing by default, and the assignment is now complete, at 2442 words, 12 references to materials and 7 different sources in the bibliography... Then, I think of Linda and her great essays and lessons, and of how she only just passed...and I think of the interview on Friday, which went so well, and how the girl asked me why I decided to do the Delta after only two years...yes, interesting question. I think we all embarked on that suicidal trip to find some stability in this life of uncertainty, of going from place to place, of not knowing if this room will be the same in two months' time, if we will be in the same city next week.
For the past 6 months I have lived in 4 different places; I haven't been able to cook one meal for myself; I have panicked and stressed over my things, crammed in my friend's flat, because I have nowhere to store them. I have been thinking of going back "home", where I would have my room, my family and my friends, and I wouldn't be so lonely that I cry most days, unable to see the future. One more interview tomorrow, and a hostile city, that's what it's proved to be, that I want to run away from. I envy the ones who have their own life, and a house, and a family, because these are things that I have tried to have for the past 5 years, and I have worked so hard, and nothing has changed.
Still, here we go, working hard and hoping that eventually all these efforts will be rewarded. The interview went really well, and I feel quite optimistic about it. And next week it's my birthday, which I am going to celebrate alone, since I don't have any friends here - ok, I'm seeing theatre friend the day before for the makeover thing in central London. But there's only so much I can ask of one single person.
On the plus side, having been to Bournemouth, I have finally have my precious boxes with me, and this means my Parrot, my Underhill, Hewings, my dictionary, and my biography of London and of Turner; yes, this prompts the questions "where the hell am I going to put them when Christmas comes and I have to leave this place", and I'm afraid the answer is yet again "theatre friend's flat", but fingers crossed my books and I will have a job and a place to stay in a few weeks.

On pronunciation

Focus of my LSA4 - reload...

I experimented the lesson with my last class, on Friday, my last day at work. The results are:
- counting the number of syllables: dangerous (two syllables?). I will need to make sure that no funny questions are asked, although, not being God, I hope the assessor will be lenient...
- deciding where the stress goes: better. As in, that's where I can see students struggle, so my theory holds, and we can have a chat and a revision and they all practice, so it's good. I think.
- deciding where the stress goes in a sentence: not so easy as it looks, and that's also good. Some students are quicker than others, and with a bit of support we all made it there.
- the practice with Spiderman: awesome. It was really good, andI had the right balance of boys and girls to play the part, it was fun, it was good, it ended well.

The whole lesson, with improvised material, took just over an hour, and considering that we were faffing about, it's ok. I could imagine the assessor walking out just as we were repeating the lines while watching the movie, and it would make a good impression, I believe...It's practice, it's doing what they were supposed to do, and so on...

Currently working on the assignment, which is being written by default, having written so many by now... The only thing is: will it be good enough? Who knows what these Cambridge people want. I can only do my best, again, and pray for the best.

Meanwhile, it's still raining, so my plans of morning gym and afternoon study have gone in the gutter, which means a whole day of study and preparation, followed by a day of nothing at all, by which I mean gym and a trip to London for tea and shopping...sounds nice, and it should help my gloomy mood too.

Time flies

Well, it's week 4 already, and so far so good..which is strange. It's the first time in 3 years that a summer camp goes perfectly fine, and all my classes are awesome, and I don't have to stay up all night planning lessons, and all that.
Having said that, we may have a British Council inspection on Thursday..since they seem to be after me, I bet that of all the centres they could choose, they're going to end up here. Oh, well. I am prepared, and have been under 3 inspections already, and all I think is, if I have survived the Delta, really, there isn't much more that I can't do.

In other news, and on a more personal side, I am starting to think that I am not ready yet. As much as I miss human contact, and sometimes I really feel it, I am slowly realising that I may not be ready for it yet. Not just with anyone. Although I have pangs of jealousy whenever I see certain things happen which I would like to be part of, and then I remember that it's not going to happen, me being what I am, so I am almost fine with it.
It's not time yet.

Update...

On day 2 of my new job in London, I have become a senior teacher...
By day 5, I am nearly in love with a cute guy who, unfortunately, looks a LOOOOOT like my ex...
Almost week 3, and I am seriously wondering what to do with myself...and would rather concentrate on teaching and not be bothered by heart matters...but as they say, le coeur a des raisons que la raison ne connait pas.

Dammit.

And the countdown is...

Oh my God, three weeks and I'll be over and done with the Dip! ..Well, provided I have passed the external, and that module 3 is a pass, and that module 1 is a pass..
I am not worried about module 1, really. With barely no preparation I have almost got a distinction, so I am ok with that. Module 3 is complete, only needs some editing as I am (again) over the word limit, so have to cut some 80 words...Plus, what is it with people who assume that I should have a fancy mobile phone?
Foreword: when submitting the assignment for module 3 you have to provide appendices, which, if necessary, have to be scanned. Although I know we have a scanner (and a cool photocopier which also scans and emails stuff) at school, I just thought I'd make sure that I need to scan my materials (which seems stupid, since I provide page numbers and all that, and I believe the Cambridge people will be familiar with materials that..well, that they publish!). So I asked, do I have to? And what if I don't have a scanner?
The answer, from a random person who signed "regards" and no name, is: "try to take some pics with your mobile phone, it sometimes works"..
Ehm...thanks for assuming, as I said, that I have a fancy phone, when I have everything but...

In other news, it's sunny, breezy, birds singing in the sunset, warm enough, and I have an interesting and not too difficult class, this week, L3.2. And I meet up with my favourite students after the lessons, and at lunch time, and they are nice, and smiling, and they make me smile too. I do love this job.

A-ha

..as in: Take on me - great song: I couldn't help dancing on the bike at the gym, while it was playing soooooo loud in my earphones! I was one step away from singing it too, then thought of my fellow sweaters (as in: other people who were sweating on the machines), and screamed the song in my head. Good girl:-)

Anyway, one good thing from the money I am spending for the Delta: two pages on pronunciation which brought my students straight into the fantastic world of single vowel sounds, from "tree" /tri:/ to "boot" /bu:t/ through "car" /ca:/.
Beautiful.

Confessions of an Agatha Christie-a-holic

..ahem..well, what can I say, I'm guilty. ITV3 is on a Poirot marathon, and having watched two movies yesterday, and (ehm) 4 today, I feel I can happily register in some detox programme now...
But it's worked: while watching "Lord Edgware dies" I read and took notes from my materials on writing and writing lessons; during "The ABC murders" I prepared a skeleton and first draft of the background assignment for LSA3; as Poirot investigated in "The Hollow" I decided the plan for the perfect writing lesson; and as the clues became clearer and clearer (not) in "The murder of Roger Ackroyd" I sketched both a needs analysis sheet and a diagnostic test for module 3. So, how productive was my Sunday then?
I definetely deserved a "quiet" day like today, and am now ready to go back to work tomorrow, for an intense week, which will see me teach L5 as always, prepare the Japanese for their TOEIC in lesson 7, and run more and more...After all, exercise is a natural anti-depressant.

Depression, chocolate, and a little help from my friends

Well, let's not talk about the first topic of the title, shall we?

But it's Chinese new year on Sunday, and my students are set on making me a choc-a-holic, clearly! Lovely L5, all of them. Although I hate teaching long courses in the afternoon as I never know what to do, and apparently I cannot use the book for EAP? Why is that?
Anyway, the weekend is going to be dedicated to a study of needs analysis and diagnostic tests, to..test on my L5 next week, before preparing section 2 of my extended assignment. The good news is, I just got back section 1, and my tutor says I'm off to a good start...phew! Also, all I had to do was ask a couple of people in the office and...two emails with sample of needs analysis questionnaires, and a teacher who was still looking for more samples as I was leaving the school, muttering something about how he won't get any sleep if he can't find them... I always find it amazing when people are so nice to me. It's...moving.

In other news, I've got a job offer with interesting future opportunities, so: London here I come! It's official, I am moving the the city by the end of June, and will work there all summer, then let's keep our fingers crossed and see if I can stay in the same school (and chances are very high, apparently). But I also had another phone interview this morning, and it was very positive, and I must contact the school again come June, to see what they have on offer for me; in that case it would be either senior teacher or (hear hear) assistant director! Let's not get too excited, though!

It is a relief to know that module 3 has started off well, and I am now preparing for LSA3, and I mean that I am practising writing lessons...of course writing is one of those skills that students never want to practice, even IELTS students think they can get away with it. But I will get them used to a writing lesson a week from now on, so that by the time of the observation they will be ready! Fingers crossed, again, though, since come next observation I could have a completely different class, either in terms of students (it's stage test time next week, which means that some of them may move to L4) or in terms of level (I may be moved to another class). Oh, well. At least I will have some practice on it and will be more prepared.

Other than that...Well, depression is back, although not too heavily, and the gym is scaring it away, together with my strengthened will power. I won't go down that easily this time. It is only sad that I should let this thing go against my will, and only to save my life, so to speak, when all I wanted to do was giving a hug and offer support to a person who won't accept it out of some misplaced ideas of right and wrong. Still, I've done all that I could and more. It breaks my heart, but it's for the best.

All work and no play...no, the other way around...

Well, after a very relaxing time filled with snow, food, friends, lazy walks and shopping...back to work, back to reality.

And back to the fantastic world of EFL, specifically EAP, the subject of my extended assignment! Well, I've got lots to read about it, and no idea of how to structure the essay, so...good!
At the same time, I should really start with my LSA2, and so far, having been back for a few days, all I've done is..the skeleton. At least I'm not working at school, so I can actually say that I can write the whole thing in a week because I've got nothing else to do!

In other news, there is a lot on my mind. So much that I can barely express it here. In the end, the solution is a class of body balance (tomorrow: dance jam!), a walk to town, a couple of emails, and lots of music. It usually works.

Happy new year, then. May it be a successful one.

Chiuso per ferie

I am in Italy until January, 9th. Time to rest, work on my assignments, but above all, a lot of me-time, much much much needed!
Just for the record, my laptop is fading away, and will soon be replaced, my landlady will redecorate the house while we are away, I have a thousand cakes to make to catch up with the ones I haven't had the time to make, it's freezing cold (-3°C), and I am looking forward to Christmas markets, mulled wine, and carols. Oh, yes. This year, Christmas is going to be spectacularly quiet and cosy.
See you next year:-)

I have no energy left.

Once again, the title says it all.

And just like that...

I’m having a recovery weekend. To be honest, I’m going to work and finish my assignment now, but I am taking things easy, because I am exhausted.

So, to begin with, five minutes into my Thursday lesson, my Czech student decides to tell me that she’d rather be in a class with a native speaker, so that she can talk about England in the 80’s, as she’s got an exam coming up and she wants to know more about it. The thing shocks me so much that I spend the next 90 minutes thinking “I want to get out of here, get out of here” endlessly while Polish guy blabbers away about everything. Seriously, that guy is non-stop. At break time I tell the manager to move her to L2 from Monday, then realise I cannot stand having her in my class again, so I go back to the office, and I try to tell him to move her from Friday, only to burst into tears and beg to have her moved away as soon as possible. Manager is very supportive, and I feel so well about it, he goes “I’m moving her right now, I’m not having this!”, and gives permission to all the teachers who will have her in class..to make her cry.
The thing that annoys me is that even though I were a native speaker, what tells you that I’ll be able to tell you anything about England in the 80’s? Plus, I was a child in the 80’s! I was busy learning to write, playing with my schoolmates, going to swimming lessons!
Well, she’ll certainly be delighted to be in Denise’s class, who by the way spent the 80’s in Australia…

In other news, my body decided to reset the system. Only it forgot to inform me of such a procedure, so it took me by surprise when, while talking to Denise on Friday night, I heard a high-pitched sound in my ears, my vision blurred, and the next thing I know, I have collapsed on the floor and am “dreaming” away, I can’t remember what, but there are voices in my head and I am in another dimension for a while, until I hear Denise’s voice from a distance, and I slowly come round, as she’s trying to move me to a better position than heaped on plastic boxes by the sofa. I am sweating and hyperventilating, I can’t hear, I am confused, and I slowly, very slowly, come back.
So yes, my body decided that a reboot would have been a good idea. Clearly I am overdoing it a bit, and with another week to go, this was just a signal that maybe I should slow down? Eh, if only I could. So maybe the idea of preparing for a half marathon is not the greatest plan I can have, I suppose. Shame, because I am halfway there already! I guess that combining the stress of working full-time on a fixed term contract with such a low salary, plus going to college twice a week and to workshops, and studying like mad the rest of the time, and dedicating almost 2 hours a day four times a week to hardcore work out at the gym, plus not really eating that much (no time, really, and when I have time I’m not hungry anyway) is pushing it too far. That’s what Christmas is for, right? To rest (a bit… I am going to study as much as possible, and run as much as possible too, but I am also planning lots of relaxing cooking, walks, and lots of sleep…much needed). Anyway, I had never fainted before, so it’s been an interesting albeit scary experience. I know it’s a weird comment, but it’s just what I think.

So, now, about that assignment…

Getting caught in the rain is not fun.

Well…the title says it all. But at least I got home a lot earlier than usual, thanks to free Wednesdays afternoons, and could do some studying and have a decent lunch before heading off to yet another inset (about Christmas activities, of course).

So, Monday was testing, at last, which means a really quiet morning, and having already prepared for my afternoon class, I really enjoyed some time just planning what to teach them for the rest of the week and all that: L4 is a really nice level, they are so chatty and noisy, it’s beautiful! And they are 5 or 6, which is also great, I am so tired of teaching mini-classes.
Speaking of which, and of my luck, there actually is an S2 class…damn! It’s super tiny, only 2 students, of which one if the most talkative person ever, he almost doesn’t stop to breathe! He’s only here for a week, and he clearly said that he’s going to make the most of it and practice his speaking, well, he is! I’m not complaining, mind: in the first lesson, I think I spoke a total of 2 minutes…such a change! I do prepare stuff to do, but mostly we go off tangents as soon as (both of them, really) spot an opportunity to chat away, and I’m fine with it: at this level, after all, it’s mostly consolidating grammar and expanding vocabulary, and I’m doing things, even if they don’t always notice. I’ll try to include some pronunciation too, if they ever let me! Next week, instead, I think it will be a one-to-one with the other student, also very nice. So, these last two weeks are going to be a lot more enjoyable than the past month, big smile.

In other news, it’s almost time to think about my LSA2, systems. That is, grammar, or phonology, or vocabulary. I think I’m going to play it safe, and prepare something about the second conditional: with a good build-up (revise past tenses, create a good context) it’s going to be smooth, albeit not original at all, but who cares. I’m not risking a fail just to try and show off. That’s also why my experimental practice was boring and banal, which will cost me, because one of the criteria is actually originality, but we’re talking of pass vs. fail here, no merit or whatever, and I am aiming at a pass, which I am 99% to get. Plus, with the kind of class I had, with the lack of technology, the lack of time to read some literature about it, and all that, sorry, that was all I can do. I’ll experiment TBL or CLL some other time, when I don’t have 900£ at stake…

Stressed out...

Yes, it looks like I could do with less worries in my life…

I am writing this in the hope to put my worries on "paper" and make them look less scary, distant, approachable and solvable.
So, where to begin?

One big problem seems to be the lack of time to do everything, or shall I say that all the things that we have to do seem an enormous amount, compared to the actual time we have. Of course, teaching full time is not really helpful, especially when I am a lot better and more experienced in lower levels, and have to teach upper-int and advanced, instead. To make things better, this week I am also on half cover, so instead of recycling stuff from my morning class with my advanced student, and mixing it with general chats and a round of Scrabble, both yesterday and today I had to cover for another upper-int class of catatonic Czech students, who make me want to scream.
If this wasn’t all, it seems that tomorrow I am actually covering for an advanced class? How come, haven’t I got my own to think of? So probably the boss got mixed up, and it would be interesting to go and find out, except that he doesn’t like to see me too often, so I am never comfortable going to the office looking for help…I’m sorry, but it’s not my fault if YOU are the boss therefore YOU are responsible for the timetable and the rest, therefore YOU have the answers! Anyway, seen as I have to bother him about my situation for the year to come, I’d rather risk it and have a surprise tomorrow morning, than bothering him again. So not good, though.

Which leads me to my feelings about my work place at the moment: apart from the general gossip going about, all these women whispering every minute of their day, and even outside work (my landlady, also core staff at the school, seems to enjoy sharing gossip or whatever, whenever she sees me, and doesn’t mind repeating herself, just in case I have forgotten), well apart from that, and from a shared feeling of “we don’t like the boss”, I sense a core vs. temporary staff contrast. They seem to want to make it clear that no, we temporary staff cannot expect to stay here for much longer, unless we are their friends, like nervous inexperienced teacher who finished last week (and all her fault too: when ex-boss said that he would find her stuff to do till the end of the year, she just said “good, thank you”, and walked back to her desk, whereas I cunningly asked for a contract, got one, and therefore am now on the teaching list until the end of the year, with or without students to teach). So, there is going to be a meeting on Thursday, and it does make me laugh that I witnessed the first draft of the notice being made, and it said: “CORE STAFF MEETING”. Said head title was then changed to a general “staff meeting” invitation, but I can’t help feeling that people like Chris, me, or if he was still here, Pawel, wouldn’t really have much to say, and even if we did, our words would probably be drowned or ignored. So, to be honest, I’m going to the gym right after class, on Thursday, and then back to college for another Delta session. I think these are the most important things.

And this leads me to the study problem, which is really stressing me out, and it is the main reason why I stick to this obsessive gym-routine, as I tend to internalise stress, and it’s so not good. As I said, I don’t have enough time for everything, and I am fighting to find it and keep it: I believe I need some me-time, right?
The problem is, I leave the house at 7.40 every single morning; I get to school by 8.20, prepare my lesson at my best (given the horrible course book I have to use, given the even more horrible students I have, and whatnot), and spend the whole day teaching and planning and preparing, and trying to find something to do with my classes, and all that. It is a shared feeling with my Delta colleagues, that we are focusing so much on the learning and preparing for the diploma, that it seems that the standard of our lessons is actually going down, and I seem to be walking out of my classes thinking “what a crap lesson that was!” a lot more often than I would like. Well, at least I’m not alone. I have my diploma classes twice a week, and there we are inundated with materials, ideas, assignments, “homework”, books to read, websites to consult, and stuff to think about, god knows when, since on such days I get home at 9.40 when I’m lucky, having spent exactly 14 hours away, and almost collapsing on my bed… I dedicate 3 to 4 times a week to the gym, mostly to keep fit, and sane, and work out all the stress that I am accumulating, and also because I am paying 34£ a month for it, and I’d like to make it worth it. Plus, I like that gym.

Of course, part of my worries are also money-related, as always.
Some worries are private, although a lot less complicated than they used to be, so honestly they are not that important right now, but still, I spend some time thinking about a couple of things that I’d like to fix, and which I thought were over and done with, but apparently they are… only for me. It seems that the other part involved in this, and who actually took all the decisions in the story, is not over with it yet, which I find almost amusing, if it wasn’t also quite irritating at times, all considered. But this is another story…

Finally, to make me feel better, here is a list of things to do for the next few days, to try and sort things out:

- print background assignment with comments, work on comments, resubmit. It seems that next week and the one following I’ll be on cover in the morning, so, with a little luck, working on it at the weekend and next week, I may be able to hand it in before the last week of the course. By the way, on Thursday I must get the books back and write down page numbers, which I had written on my handwritten notes, and then as soon as I copied them down, I just didn’t take them too. Why? God knows…
- plan experimental practice and teach it. This is planned to be on Thursday, so I can prepare the students on some grammar aspects, have a closer look at how I should teach the lesson, possible organise a peer observation for the day to get the necessary feedback, and then cunningly write the assignment retrospectively and complete it over the weekend, or again next week.
- Talk to boss on Thursday; he said he’d have some time for me at some point, later in the week, I believe Thursday should be a decent day? Just before the gym, so I can then go and forget my misfortunes with a really hard work-out…
- Go the gym on Thursday and Friday, in preparation for a really long studying weekend: it was supposed to be a fun weekend with a friend coming over to visit, but the way things are going, I’ll probably spend it researching, writing, editing, revising, studying…

…well, there would be a lot more to say, but I guess I’ll stop here. I expected to spend a long night studying, but by the way things have evolved I think I will go to sleep now…It’s such a shame, really, because a colleague from the Delta wanted to go for a drink tonight after class, to celebrate my birthday, and I was so looking forward to that, and instead…
Then again, as I said, social life is nothing I can have right now…